A Room of My Own

Tonight...I feel as though I sit in silence. I wish I could tell you a happy story, maybe one where everyone lives happily ever after. But unfortunately, that is not always the case. This evening, as I sit, reflecting on my last few days, I cannot help but think about mortality. You see, yesterday, Cam and I lost someone very dear to our hearts; a quiet, beautiful, gentle, nurturing/calming, and safe spirit who loved and was loved so very much, his grandma. She was a woman who would care for others first, comfort you when you were sad, and always seemed to know when something was wrong. And she had such an affinity to birds and flowers...the same flowers that take me back to my childhood were the exact same ones that were nostalgic and held meaning to her. I cannot express how much, even though I only knew her for a couple of years, I will miss her; her excitement about my garden, my little bird 'sanctuary' out back, doing laundry (yes, laundry), or my excitement of the blooming Daphne. My heart aches as I think about life without her.

But my saving grace is knowing she is in a better place. It is a place with no suffering, no fear. She is safe, happy, and completely full of joy, and someday we can all be with her again. But when my mind strays from this knowledge, I have found strength and comfort in this verse and prayer.

I hope that whatever you are going through, and believe me I mean everything, you also find comfort in these words.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so , I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

 

~John 14:2-3~

 

I remember the first time I had my own room. Even at a young age, I felt a sense of being cared for and provided for. Lord, I spent so much time preparing every detail in order to make it unquestionably mine. I think of this experience when I read Your promise to prepare a room for me. A place for me in heaven's glory.

 

When You take me home and show me this room, I am certain it will reflect how well You know my heart. The walls will be the shade of happiness. The fabrics will be woven with threads of loving memories. It will simmer with Your splendor. I will run into it gladly, eager to be in Your presence forever. And I will know that the Master of this house prepared this room because I am unquestionably His. 





(The previous excerpt comes form One-Minute Prayers for Women...so often my saving grace!)



I must take comfort in these words as we - as a family - embark on this next step of our journey. It will be a time of difficult transition, but with the support of us all and Christ's love, I know we will make it through. For now I am exhausted and vulnerable. Sleep will help me focus on the positive tomorrow!

No matter how difficult or challenging any life barrier becomes, make sure you can and enjoy EVERY moment with those you love. We never know God's perfect timing for life.

Enjoy!

In loving memory of grandma Shirley