I have been struck by this reality very recently and have allowed it to creep into my life and produce resentment, anger, and bitterness. I seem to dwell on the lies and deception of others in my life and find it hard to trust, forgive, and move on. It is hard to admit, that I can fall so easily to this defensive position, but it is a very real emotion we all experience at one time or another - a fact that is true but not comforting in my current disposition.
How can we both stand up for ourselves, not allowing to be a doormat for those we love, and yet still walk a very honorable walk with Christ? In Galatians, it says, "Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap ete3rnal life." (Galatians 6:7-8) By allowing 'lifely' circumstances to take root in our lives, we are essentially placing their power over the power of God: His love, forgiveness and grace. If we are to walk with Him, we must strive to live by his word, not by the actions of others.
So, does this mean we must become life's doormat? Absolutely not! In fact, we need to be proud and stand up for a Godly life! Take hold to what is truth...eternal life.
This last verse is one that has helped me exponentially and I have tried (often times more successfully than others) to live it out:
Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
In a way I feel like this verse is telling us to "kill 'em with kindness." Don't allow yourself to become overcome by others' frustrations, anger, lies, and deception. Instead, begin to treat everyone with the same dignity, respect, and love you would also hope for. When you do this, it becomes much easier to see past these worldly transgressions and focus on our path ahead!
Does this fix everything and we're never going to be upset or mad, especially when these things happen by those closest to us? No. These emotions are natural and very real. If they weren't, we wouldn't find so many stories and bible verses on the subject. What truly matters is what we do with them. Will we allow others to determine our happiness and journey in life, or will we decide to reach beyond their painful inflictions and focus on living the life God has intended for us? It's our choice.
This doesn't make the painful experiences go away, or make the deception of loved ones not sting. It does, however, give us hope. It also provides us, at least I hope it can for you as well, that oasis in the desert; a chance to see the bigger picture and what is awaiting us when our struggles are over!
I have tried very hard to live that verse out today despite my personal sour disposition. We have been fortunate enough to have someone come out and replace several windows in our home (three broken since we moved in...not so lovely!). From the time they arrived until they finished their job, I was very kind and grateful for all of their work. And do you know how I was treated in return? They were friendly, kind, professional, and went out of their way to do a very stand-up job. When we show love and kindness we will see love and kindness...eventually. :-)
I realize this doesn't have much to do with homesteading, but it has been thrust into the forefront of my life for the last few days and I feel like I want to share how I have found to move past it. These feelings are often times uncomfortable but you are never alone through them. They will creep up from time to time in life...what matters most is what we do with them!
Did you find this helpful? Any other experiences and/or advice you would be willing to share? I'd love to hear them all!!
Enjoy!
So sorry you have to go through this. I think our late 20's and 30's are a time when we see the world with clearer vision. A growing up time you might say, with painful truths about the people we let in to our inner circle or our expectation of how we think people should treat each other. Take comfort that you will get through this and in the process will know yourself better. You will find strength in your faith and walk freely with the confidence you gain by just being you. You cannot try to change the people in our lives, but grow more tolerant and choose which ones get to sit in the front row. Love you, Jen!
ReplyDeleteThis post really resonates with me. I'm feeling the same way lately. You're right that the only attitude we can control is your own. I need to remember that lately. :)
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